The Magic School Bus Lost Pilot Episode
Don't worry about who I am. If you really want to know about me, just know that I'm risking a lot by posting this. If you had a childhood, regardless of when you were born, you should remember the cartoon, "The Magic School Bus". It was a children's cartoon show in the '90s, where a crazy science teacher would take students on weekly adventures into places such as into space or through the human digestive system. It was a rather harmless, and educational show, which is the reason why it has been prominently shown to children since its daily premiere. What most people don't know about the show was that it was meant to fit into a line of horror stories for kids in a show that was never made, titled "Horror Is Alive!". ANY GIRLS WANT ME TO STICK MY PENIS INTO THEIR VAGINA? Prop-1556667199 Prop-1554841586 There's no transition, it just becomes this. The walls are all white and there seem to be infinite corridors with steep drops. From the outside, it looks like a Soviet space rocket (which still makes sense, due to this being animated in Russia), but larger. Arnold comments that this wasn't what he expected and he wants to go home. Janet and Carlos also seem equally confused, but Janet is smiling. Mrs. Frizzle says that there is an override lock on the ship and nobody can leave until it has reached its destination: "We are hurtling toward the sun". Mrs. Frizzle tells everyone that she can turn off the airlock and suffocate everyone, only jokingly, before saying that she will put in the manual override, but it will take six months to reach Earth. After this, the screen begins distorting as the picture goes out of focus in a similar fashion to how the Max Headroom Hijacking went into transmission during Doctor Who. An out-of-place slideshow then played over what sounded like an acoustic version of the Star Wars theme. The only pictures that were shown are that of planets, with each picture having some subliminally hidden disturbing human elements across the planet being shown. Basically, imagine the planet Jupiter having angry-looking human eyes melded into it, realistically, but not something too out of the ordinary for a skilled Photoshop user to have created. You could tell that time was passing by only because Arnold became more dirty as time passed. The nine beds line the walls, and there are porthole windows along with a control panel that is deactivated. The food that was left for him sits in one corner of the room, and tries to ration it, but it only lasts him one month. He also has no means of a bathroom, so he urinates and defecates on the floor. After about two minutes, two months have passed, and Arnold is looking noticeably nervous and disheveled, yet hopeful. He's extremely hungry, more so than he's ever been. Ralphie's catchphrase, "I think I'm gonna be sick," begins to play, repetitively, over the music track. I think it was meant to reflect Arnold's mind, but then Mrs. Frizzle begins to talk. "You're hungry, aren't you" Arnold now realized the predicament he faces. He won't survive two years in this environment, and if he tries to kill himself by smashing a porthole window, he'll kill his other students. "You didn't leave me enough food!", Arnold screams, as his voice begins to crack. Several quick cuts of the spaceship from 2001 play about as rapidly as the human eye can blink. The voice begins to grow darker and more tinged, and deeper. "Oh, but Arnold, I did." The animation does a long, slow pan across the room with what looks like a stylization of a wide-angle lens, pointing out the beds. And then the voice changes. "I am your extrasensory nervous system. This is no hallucination, Arnold. I am you." The weirdest, and most convincing thing about the animation of the original episode is that Arnold looks very similar to Mrs. Frizzle, one would think they are related. They both have pale skin, orange hair, and represent nerds. Even their mannerisms, aside from Mrs. Frizzle's greater achieved sense of confidence are similar. The voice began to whisper. "Eat them." This became all the more apparent as he took the scalpel and slowly cut into her belly. He was not at all hesitant now. This scene is the most disturbing because the angle never changes. His expression is always angry, with cartoon stylized eyebrows. For an entire sixty seconds he slices her open, eats her lungs and intestines, peels and eats her skin, then moves onto the face, slicing off eyebrows and the nose, leaving a shaved skeletal corpse as the camera time lapses. The animation is different here, it's more specific, more layered and more medical looking. Now the cancerous sores are visibly on Arnold's face as well. The next day the scalpel is removed. For the next month or so, he picks on the remains of Phoebe. I HAVE THE MOST BIGGEST PENIS IN THE WORLD, YOU GIRLS NEED TO TRY AND TASTE IT! IT'S SO FRESH! Arnold begins to cry. The animation gets very choppy at this point. Two different shots are seen. In one, the school bus collides with the sun. In another, Arnold continues to eat the remaining students, in order, based on the anagram instructions. Since it's a time lapse, you only see the bodies and the bones begin to pile up. He refuses to eat Janet, his cousin, before ultimately slicing his neck with the scalpel and killing himself. The cancerous sores envelop his corpse. Another scene was supposed to appear, but it was cut. The final shot before it ends is the words "YOU'RE GONNA GO BONKERS IN 1988." That phrase, to my knowledge, means nothing. The retrograde film begins to deteriorate before the Russian words appear. This directly translates to "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO JANET?". There's nothing else. The ship enters a black hole and there are no credits and Arnold profusely screamed for three minutes that he couldn't breathe as a burning noise begins to envelop the back layer track. It goes on for a full three minutes. I tried figuring out what happened to Janet, but the only real clue is, I suppose, in the animation itself. I tried finding some information about the origins online, which I somewhat succeeded in doing. I only found out about it through articles about it on the deep web, and a very old post on 4chan with two replies which expressed skepticism due to lack of evidence. I didn’t want to upload footage of the VHS onto YouTube, Vimeo, or even Dailymotion because the gore and disturbing imagery was obviously going to get me flagged or banned on any of those websites. Sergei stopped messaging me everywhere I had him as a friend. I put the VHS up on eBay before being hit with a six hundred thousand dollar notice from the PBS company. I got sent a very threatening e-mail that told me my life as a professional contractor and plumber was basically over if I ever released that VHS to the general public. They insisted it was merely a prank regarding some of the employees working on The Magic School Bus having fun, but I knew that the backstories, the voice actors' sorrow, the Russian text, the attention to detail, and the matching details regarding the backstories and actual tape was all too much evidence to believe this. Category:"Lost Episodes" Category:Death Category:Suicide Category:Dismemberment Category:Troll Pasta Category:Suggested Reading Category:Lost Pilot Episodes